Monthly Archives: July 2010

This I suppose is a little off topic for me but the response was so huge on Facebook I really wanted to share it for the simple reason it might help you.

I posted this small not on Facebook

‘Being alone is an interesting and very human process. It forces me to discover who I really and truly am at a much more subconscious level. I ask myself… Are you happy? Are you sad? Do you need a partner? Can you be alone and happy? These are the kind of questions and more I have been forced to ask myself. This is about me and what I want and need for my life…’

Think about this….

You are with people all of your young life, then as you get older your almost always with others,  family, friends and more. You get married or you are in a long term relationship and again you are always with someone. You are never alone and rarely get time to think, exercise your own mind and own way of being… BE – IN.

Then suddenly for the first time in your life after a relationship breakdown… suddenly you are ALONE… A-LONE.

If you are not used to this, it can have massive shock on your system and does have a huge shock on most peoples system.

The void.

The biggest challenge is suddenly a life that was full has been emptied and left a gap. A huge gap. This is the void.

Your initial instinct is to fill the gap right away. It’s panic, fear and more rolled into one. The tight knot is in your chest. The sleepless nights. The bed with you on one side and no one on the other. Feels horrible right?

You begin to ask yourself questions …

Will… continue reading

As I walked along the old railway in the distance I could see a figure sat in the shade to the left.

The closer I got the more detail I could see. It was a man, he was alone, he was sitting down, looking almost staring at the floor.

It was sunny yet he was sat in the shade. There was lots of free space yet he sat still, silent and unmoved at any visible level.

The closer I got the more I could feel the almost dark depressing side of the character. At this point I was around 10 feet away from him I looked at him to say good morning, I knew he could see me but remained still, unmoved sitting silent without a flinch as I walked by. He was in a wheelchair.

All I could feel is this mans…DEAD-SELF.

I kept on walking for another 10 feet but this guy was filling my head with thoughts of ‘is he ok?’.

I turned around and went back. I said…’excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me asking are you ok?’

He looked at me with water filled eyes and told me this story…

10 months ago I could walk up and down stairs, to the shops, play with my kids, play with my dogs and just be normal. Today I am half a man with no legs, no ability with nothing to give’

I have to say the conversation went on for around 30 minutes, we talked and cried together, it was nice. He never told me how he had lost his legs. I never asked. He never told me where he lived or what he does, I never asked. He never told me about his wife and family, I never asked.

What he did tell me… continue reading

Did you see it, read it, the news?

Hooked, addicted, news, abuser … this is the world of the News Narcotic!

I was in my village today where I live and a guy asked if I’d seen the news all week? I said ‘no’

He reply, ‘no are you serious you don’t know about this guy killing his ex-wife, shooting a policeman in the face hiding for days and then shooting himself live on TV in the head?’

‘No’ I replied. He looked at me as if I had just landed from another solar system on a day visit to Lymm!

The conversation ended. Then as I looked along the line EVERYONE was talking about this news incident. Even worse Jean (the till girl) would say to every single person at the checkout the same line…

‘did you see that man on the news shooting all of those people and then killing himself, Terrible wasn’t it, terrible’

I eventually got to the checkout and she repeated the same one liner to me. I replied to her…’are you enjoying the hot  weather?’ Jean replied… ‘at least it was good weather for that guy on the run and to shoot himself’

I thought, how can it ever be good weather to shoot yourself? Has Jean gone crazy?  Has the people in the shop been taken over by some insidious invisible airborne virus?

When I got outside I then could see the same story on billboards, on a TV across the road in an electronics window and as I walked past people up the street I could easily hear how they were all talking about the same subject.

This is the effect of News Narcotic.

Think about this.

You go to bed at night and your brain and body refreshes itself from… continue reading

Music Teacher and Married Mother of 5 Runs off With 25 Year Old Music Student

Adulterous Bitch!

Shocking right but true. Or is it?

Just a few doors away from me lives a lady of 74 years old.

Just yesterday as I was putting out some washing to dry I heard a voice shout ‘Alan, Alan’

I went to the path to see this frail, unstable woman calling me. It was my neighbor Hilary.

She wanted to talk. Honestly I was busy yet I knew she wanted some time so I sat down and listened.

I asked how she was? She has got shingles and clearly lost a lot of weight. I asked her… ‘where is Roger?’. Roger is her husband.

She replied…

‘we are still deeply in love you know from the day we met’

Interesting I thought as I never asked her anything like that but she still offered to tell me that.

I smiled, she smiled, she then told me her story.

She said…

‘There’s a big age gap you know. I am 21 years older than him. I am now 74 and he is 53′.

I sat in silence and listened.

‘Yes we met when he was at college. He was just 23 and I was 44, married with 5 children’

We were in love right away. Can you imagine the scandal? It’s always ok for an older man to be with a younger woman but when an older woman is with a younger man it’s a scandal.’

I just smiled and sat there in the sun soaking up the story.

She lifted her small thin arm to her mouth. Took the remaining half a cigarette from a time earlier in the day, put it to her mouth, lit it and carried on.

Looking back… continue reading